Most have seen it, and those who haven't, have heard of it. The Vow is about a man who works tirelessly to help the love of his life remember the love that they shared. It's a romantic movie overall (it actually made me want to get married), but I believe the truly romantic part comes out in the sharing of their vows.
I vow to help you love life.
I vow to live in the warmth of your heart and always call it home.
I vow to fiercely love you in all of your forms.
These are the same vows that our Creator makes to us. He promises us a life full of purpose and love, a life that we will love, no matter the challenges in our time on Earth. He vows to call our hearts His home forever and always. He can never be far from us, and will never stray. And He vows to love us FIERCELY in all of our forms. No matter our mistakes, our trespasses, our transgressions. No matter the size of our sin, nor the shade of our skin will make Him love us any less than He does right now. Not only does He promise to love us, He promises to love us FIERCELY. And that, I think, is what makes our God so beautiful.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Out of My Comfort Zone
Many times on mission trips, God reveals Himself to me in ways that I would expect. In the people that I would meet, through devotions made to draw us closer to Him, or in the sites that I would serve. But this week, God revealed Himself the most prominently through the people that I went on the trip with, not the people that I would be leaving but the people that I would be coming home with.
I came into the trip nervous, less for the ministry sites or for the people I would meet, and more for the group of wonderful people I was going with. Every trip I've gone on the last five years, I've been a leader in the group. People looked up to me and looked to me, sometimes only because I was older. But this time, I was one of the youngest.
I wasn't used to being (for lack of a better word) the underdog of a group. But through that, I learned more important lessons. Stepping back from your normal position, out of your comfort zone, gives you a greater opportunity to learn something different. Being in a different group dynamic gave me the chance to learn something outside of my normal 'don't-take-it-for-granted,' 'everyone-has-a-story' lesson I've come back with every year since 7th grade. I took on the role of 'learner' instead of 'teacher' and from that, recognized my own weaknesses, as well as my own strengths, and learned from people smarter than myself.
I came into the trip nervous, less for the ministry sites or for the people I would meet, and more for the group of wonderful people I was going with. Every trip I've gone on the last five years, I've been a leader in the group. People looked up to me and looked to me, sometimes only because I was older. But this time, I was one of the youngest.
I wasn't used to being (for lack of a better word) the underdog of a group. But through that, I learned more important lessons. Stepping back from your normal position, out of your comfort zone, gives you a greater opportunity to learn something different. Being in a different group dynamic gave me the chance to learn something outside of my normal 'don't-take-it-for-granted,' 'everyone-has-a-story' lesson I've come back with every year since 7th grade. I took on the role of 'learner' instead of 'teacher' and from that, recognized my own weaknesses, as well as my own strengths, and learned from people smarter than myself.
Overwhelmed
I'll be honest. I'm a sensitive person, in tune to my own emotions, and those of others (maybe a little too in tune sometimes). But rarely do I take a heightened sense of another's situation and place it upon myself, bearing (or at least attempting to understand) the burden that they carry. Several things this week took me to that point and overwhelmed me to the point of tears.
FIRST. It was a simple task. Take this money, and use it to meet someone's need. I never realized that it would result in what it did. The first man we met rejected our help, yelling that our only intention in our offer was amusement for ourselves. Drained from the conversation and numerous strikeouts, my group sat to rest at a fountain in the UN plaza. One man was sitting near us, so we decided to approach him and ask if he needed anything. We began to get closer, smiling and saying hello, introducing ourselves, and expecting a pleasant conversation. The man simply shook his head at the ground, and began to move away as we tried to get closer, never once saying a word. Not wanting to offend any further, we walked away. My heart broke as I realized how cruel society must be to these people for them to act out this way. How many times were they treated this way to come to expect it from everyone? To an extent, life has 'trained' them to be this way, to come to expect a condescending, mockingly cruel remark from everyone who approaches them. It's unfair.
NEXT. On a prayer tour throughout the city of Oakland, we visited a local high school that had been viciously shot at a few weeks earlier, without known cause or reason. The reality that these kids face is so much different than my own and I realized how much I take for granted, or rather it's something that I more 'expect' for myself. A safe school, neighborhood, and home, with a community of teachers and caretakers that support me and not only want, but expect, the best for me. These kids don't understand that whether or not earthly figures care about them, they have a God who does. A God that created them for a purpose, with intention, and is cheering them on. He never leaves, and He's never left. I broke down thinking about the choice that none of these kids feel they have. They don't realize that life could be better, that there's more than just this. Even the lucky few that have a different outcome, the ones that are able to graduate and leave their town, they never want to return to their home. The brokenness and despair becomes nothing but a memory, a memory they no longer want to relive. They don't believe that they can come back and make a difference in so many people's lives. The vicious cycle that seems like it will last forever breaks my heart.
FINALLY. A journey through the Haight district resulted in the most overwhelming emotion of sadness and hurt I've felt thus far in my short life. First, I heard a story from a man named Joshua, who's favorite food was McDonald's, and that whenever he had money, that was all he wanted. It killed me to hear that when he went in, expecting to be served as a paying customer like everyone else, they would treat him like dirt, giving him looks as he asked for ketchup and asking for his receipt if he came back ten minutes later for a refill, things meant to be complimentary. What was worse was comments we heard as we were sitting with him listening to his story. A woman looked at us and began whispering inaudibly to her husband. Another man pulled out an imaginary gun, shooting at our group, saying that that is how he would clean up **** on the street. This was only a few of the many hateful scenes I witnessed that day. At one point, I just broke down in tears, taking in too deeply the bitterness and hate that existed here. It overwhelmed me and my heart poured out in prayer for the hate in Haight.
In the midst of so much emotion, bitterness, hate, confusion, and darkness, the only thing I could do was pray. I could only put it in His hands and hope for the best. I was told that prayer is the greatest ministry we can offer, and sometimes prayer is the only thing we have.
FIRST. It was a simple task. Take this money, and use it to meet someone's need. I never realized that it would result in what it did. The first man we met rejected our help, yelling that our only intention in our offer was amusement for ourselves. Drained from the conversation and numerous strikeouts, my group sat to rest at a fountain in the UN plaza. One man was sitting near us, so we decided to approach him and ask if he needed anything. We began to get closer, smiling and saying hello, introducing ourselves, and expecting a pleasant conversation. The man simply shook his head at the ground, and began to move away as we tried to get closer, never once saying a word. Not wanting to offend any further, we walked away. My heart broke as I realized how cruel society must be to these people for them to act out this way. How many times were they treated this way to come to expect it from everyone? To an extent, life has 'trained' them to be this way, to come to expect a condescending, mockingly cruel remark from everyone who approaches them. It's unfair.
NEXT. On a prayer tour throughout the city of Oakland, we visited a local high school that had been viciously shot at a few weeks earlier, without known cause or reason. The reality that these kids face is so much different than my own and I realized how much I take for granted, or rather it's something that I more 'expect' for myself. A safe school, neighborhood, and home, with a community of teachers and caretakers that support me and not only want, but expect, the best for me. These kids don't understand that whether or not earthly figures care about them, they have a God who does. A God that created them for a purpose, with intention, and is cheering them on. He never leaves, and He's never left. I broke down thinking about the choice that none of these kids feel they have. They don't realize that life could be better, that there's more than just this. Even the lucky few that have a different outcome, the ones that are able to graduate and leave their town, they never want to return to their home. The brokenness and despair becomes nothing but a memory, a memory they no longer want to relive. They don't believe that they can come back and make a difference in so many people's lives. The vicious cycle that seems like it will last forever breaks my heart.
FINALLY. A journey through the Haight district resulted in the most overwhelming emotion of sadness and hurt I've felt thus far in my short life. First, I heard a story from a man named Joshua, who's favorite food was McDonald's, and that whenever he had money, that was all he wanted. It killed me to hear that when he went in, expecting to be served as a paying customer like everyone else, they would treat him like dirt, giving him looks as he asked for ketchup and asking for his receipt if he came back ten minutes later for a refill, things meant to be complimentary. What was worse was comments we heard as we were sitting with him listening to his story. A woman looked at us and began whispering inaudibly to her husband. Another man pulled out an imaginary gun, shooting at our group, saying that that is how he would clean up **** on the street. This was only a few of the many hateful scenes I witnessed that day. At one point, I just broke down in tears, taking in too deeply the bitterness and hate that existed here. It overwhelmed me and my heart poured out in prayer for the hate in Haight.
In the midst of so much emotion, bitterness, hate, confusion, and darkness, the only thing I could do was pray. I could only put it in His hands and hope for the best. I was told that prayer is the greatest ministry we can offer, and sometimes prayer is the only thing we have.
So in Love
'A woman should be so in love with God that a man should have to go through Him to get to her.'
I've heard this so many times in my life, but I had never fully understood what it really meant. And to be honest, I still don't really understand it. I suppose I could begin with, as a hormonal young adult, I tend to see the opposite sex first as an attractive individual. First, their eyes draw you in. Then their arms, back, or chest. And finally, their smile.
But as a child of God, that is not how we are called to see them. We're called to see the opposite sex, first and foremost, as brothers and sisters in Christ, forming a brotherly love among one another, developing a friendship out of a mutual love and respect for a being much greater than ourselves.
As women of God, we are called to have a first love. Our true first love being for the God that knew us first, created us for Him, knit us together, and memorized every fiber of our being. He is our first love.
Love, as a Christian, was once described to me as a race. We're running, racing even, towards our truest love. As you look to your left and right, you find the people that are keeping up with you, maybe even those slightly ahead of you. Those are the ones you want to chase. The ones that you want to take on the journey of life, and will sharpen you, build you up, and challenge you.
Our time should be spent running towards our Creator, giving our all into our relationship with Him. As we find others as wrapped up in Him as we are, He will lead us to those relationships. And I guess, to an extent, that's what it means. A girl should be running towards God in such a way that only those running with her will make it into her heart.
I've heard this so many times in my life, but I had never fully understood what it really meant. And to be honest, I still don't really understand it. I suppose I could begin with, as a hormonal young adult, I tend to see the opposite sex first as an attractive individual. First, their eyes draw you in. Then their arms, back, or chest. And finally, their smile.
But as a child of God, that is not how we are called to see them. We're called to see the opposite sex, first and foremost, as brothers and sisters in Christ, forming a brotherly love among one another, developing a friendship out of a mutual love and respect for a being much greater than ourselves.
As women of God, we are called to have a first love. Our true first love being for the God that knew us first, created us for Him, knit us together, and memorized every fiber of our being. He is our first love.
Love, as a Christian, was once described to me as a race. We're running, racing even, towards our truest love. As you look to your left and right, you find the people that are keeping up with you, maybe even those slightly ahead of you. Those are the ones you want to chase. The ones that you want to take on the journey of life, and will sharpen you, build you up, and challenge you.
Our time should be spent running towards our Creator, giving our all into our relationship with Him. As we find others as wrapped up in Him as we are, He will lead us to those relationships. And I guess, to an extent, that's what it means. A girl should be running towards God in such a way that only those running with her will make it into her heart.
A Light, a City on a Hill
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. - Matthew 5:14
Through darkness and despair, God is working. Working in us, and through us. We are His lights in the world. Just as a city on a hill cannot be hidden, neither can His light that shines through us. Our lives should be a testament to His word and convey His heart.
We are His lights in the world. We are a voice for the voiceless, a hope for the hopeless, and a breath for the breathless. He doesn't need us but He's chosen us to be His hands, His feet, His heart. We go into the world to spread His love and His word. We are called to be the lights in times of darkness, and the hope in times of despair. We are called to be the city on the hill that can't be hidden.
Through darkness and despair, God is working. Working in us, and through us. We are His lights in the world. Just as a city on a hill cannot be hidden, neither can His light that shines through us. Our lives should be a testament to His word and convey His heart.
We are His lights in the world. We are a voice for the voiceless, a hope for the hopeless, and a breath for the breathless. He doesn't need us but He's chosen us to be His hands, His feet, His heart. We go into the world to spread His love and His word. We are called to be the lights in times of darkness, and the hope in times of despair. We are called to be the city on the hill that can't be hidden.
Hi there. Nice to meet you.
I've been inspired to blog on several occasions in my life, but probably none so much as the mission trip I just got back from. Spending a week working with the inner city of San Francisco and Oakland, getting to know people, stories, needs, and the Lord even better than before.
I've been on several of these trips, but this year God placed on my heart an urge, a desire, to remember, and to look forward. Our leader had said that our life should be like a rowboat, always moving forward, but looking backward. Looking back on the feelings we felt, the people we met, the God we encountered that is the same there as it is back at home, and to never forget.
This will be a blog not only of these memories, but of previous moments, and of future moments that will be forever ingrained in my mind, and I pray that this will be an inspiration for you on your own journey seeking God's own heart.
I've been on several of these trips, but this year God placed on my heart an urge, a desire, to remember, and to look forward. Our leader had said that our life should be like a rowboat, always moving forward, but looking backward. Looking back on the feelings we felt, the people we met, the God we encountered that is the same there as it is back at home, and to never forget.
This will be a blog not only of these memories, but of previous moments, and of future moments that will be forever ingrained in my mind, and I pray that this will be an inspiration for you on your own journey seeking God's own heart.
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